Category Archives: Intentions

Some Helpful Thoughts In Life Management by Matt Carlson

Some things that are helpful to remember in life:
1. Have a sincere intention when you do something and be clear about what that is to others.
2. Don’t play into others’ unhealthy game playing, lying or manipulation. Tell that or those people “no” and go on with your life.
3. Don’t judge, but learn to observe things. When you judge something, it cannot become something else, only what you’ve judged it to be.
4. Communicate as best you can & as often as you can. Communication is a bringing together of ideas so that everyone is on board with all of the same elements. If you do not do this, then you are not communicating, only occasionally giving out bits and pieces of a thing.
5. Give of yourself to others. Giving is generosity of oneself. Everyone has unique gifts to give to others. Give freely and often without second thoughts. Without wanting something in return.
6. Take time every day and as often as you can to just be in the moment, to be with who ever you are with or whatever you are doing. Don’t get so caught up in your daily lives, that you forget what is essential: this moment. The past and future do not exist ; the past and future only exist in your mind

Life Changing Movements by matt carlson

There has to be intention in what you do. Life must not be just you flowing through it, without any sense of who you are, of what you are doing and or of where you are going!

I think though that my intentions have often been muddeled in the past. I knew something wasn’t right, or that I wasn’t in a place where I fit in, but I wasn’t sure really of anything. So much that surrounded me made no sense. And I had at an early age, been unaccepting of accepting things, thoughts or concepts just because “some said so” or that it was written in “some book” that people were falling all over.

Today with intention, I’ve left my home in France. I am here in California  – on a journey to find my tribe, to be able to use ME in wherever I will finally (?) put my suit cases down. It could be I will be living out of a hat so to speak before I lay my weary bones somewhere…I am accompanied by my two best friends, Foebbe and Fender, two smart Jack Russels (brother & sister) and with each choice I make, I consider their lot, their lives too. We are a roving family of three.

Last week, I was considering again a bike trip, with a rolling trailer for F & F. But now that it’s raining in California (I’m talking serious rain here!) I’m thinking that kind of trip can wait utill it’s warmer everywhere else. After blue sunny skies & 70 degree weather since arriving one month ago one thinks that everywhere else it’s the same – but it’s not!

 

Getting back to those intentions and leaving everything behind…Well, easy and not so much – also I have a return ticket for this summer. (If we return, I do not have even the slightest idea of how that would go or where we would go etc)..It’s too soon to consider my return with F & F. For now, we are here and I want to check things off my life list. Maybe i will finally choose a place, a person or a job that will give me a kind of stability – though I feel totally stable in my head. When I use that term ‘stability’, I don’t mean a stable life that measures up to the status quo – not that normality : that kills you with emptiness, boringness,  steps on your soul repeatedly, the normality that crushes your dreams, the one that makes you forget who you really are…. NOT THAT NORMALITY! Don’t forget too that NORMALITY = the majority. So that means that if it were normal to jump off a cliff and kill yourself at 30 – you had to do it, or you weren’t normal. I say, question your beliefs, question your life, I say, “WAKE UP!”

My intentions are not to have regrets in life. My intentions are to be with people I love (or loved) and reconnect if possible. Also to follow my project ideas: tennis, music, writing… I’m putting myself out there – if someone doesn’t want to connect, that’s okay. Then we’re done. You won’t see me making a scene over it. It’s probably your loss anyway…..

This weekend, I’m going to Indian Wells for the biggest tennis tournament in the world (outside of the four grand slams). Palm Springs is a desert island full of wealth people and hollywood stars, 70% of the population LGBT. That’s a lot of rich gays under the sun. Will go with a friend of mine and we will see a few friends of my past – that’s gonna be nice!

I also have a job possibiity hook up for teaching tennis again full time. It may or may not be what I am looking for. My intention is to find out. I love tennis, love teaching it, love stringing, am totally passionate about it. Whatever happens, I will check this off my list.

Going with a positive intention to find out and spend some fun time with friends. “Good, good, good, good vibrations…..”(Beach Boys song…!)

 

 

 

Road Trip by Matt Carlson

Road trip? Kind of. But a bit of a different one! A life changing road trip with an intention of moving on, not knowing what that destination will actually bring to your life, because it’s not just about the road trip – its the choice I’ve made to leave France.

A big f***ing road trip, huh? And yes I am flipping out – the stress shows itself at strange moments. It’s better to lay off the coffee for sure. After almost 27 years of living here in France too – half my lifetime. Add to that the recent ending to a disasterous ten year relationship with a sufferer of Boderline Personality Disorder and consequent attacks of a hateful nature! Yuck, huh?? (I’ve had to defend myself against repetitive lies & the twisting of reality or just plain nastiness…)  I won’t go into detail here (and this is not why I am leaving) but the change (though it may be short) will be helpful. I think its true that returning home after time living elsewhere can only improve your perspective of it.

I did return this summer and there was a whole lot of joy going on seeing people that I loved after a fifteen year absence. It was my intention to reconnect with family and a few friends. Connect I did and I was sooo happy to see that I wasn’t the only one happy about that ! 😉

Today I’ve left Paris after finding work! I know, crazy, huh? Well paid work too, but I was feeling an important desire to go home. To be with my brothers and their families, my cousins, nephews & nieces…. and of course friends that I haven’t seen for ages. It might not work out, it could be alot of pain for alot of effort, maybe it would be safer to stay in France….but all of those thoughts, I’ve put aside because my intention of being with loved ones is so much stronger.

This is the moment. It’s now or never. In ten years, if I don’t go I will always wonder. This way I’m going to see it for myself and I will have no doubts about an ‘eventual’ outcome. It will be what it will be. We cannot know what the future holds for us, we can only try to create a part of it’s outcome – yet we are not the only factors in determining that outcome. So, what are you going to do? Not do something because of fear ? Not do something because other people don’t agree with you? Not do it because someone is going to get mad at you? That people won’t understand? Judgement? ….The list is long. Life is short.

Follow your instincts. Live a life of following your purpose whatever it is. No one and I mean NO ONE can tell you what you are all about! That’s up to you! And me, my life, like you and yours, it’s not other people who decide (though many try to do that for us); it’s up to us.

Be happy. Look for fulfillment within, find that purpose. Then learn how to share it. I’ve found mine…still learning how to share it.

Take care dear reader!

 

 

Agenda’s: Yours’ or Theirs? by matt carlson

imagesAgenda’s: Yours’ or Theirs? by matt carlson

Sometimes it just doesn’t stop. The constant flow of vibration….whether it be the TV, your iphone, laptop, cell phone, radio, car noise, people demanding, wanting things from you; the kids, your wife (or husband), your boss, dead lines, bills, payments due….then you realize you’ve gotten fat, you’re having a bad hair day (or maybe you’re bald already!) and you think “What have I done with my life? This is bullshit!” And to top it off, you don’t even like what you’re wearing!!!

Well, whoever you are dear reader – you are not alone. You are just caught up in what was once called the ‘rat race’. And guess what? It’s still called that – AND YOU’RE THE RAT!…Yea, let that sink in for a moment. Rat’s being used for experiments (I am totally against animal testing of any kind, by the way) running through corridors where there is seemingly NO escape. But the rats keep running, they continue to search for what they have been conditioned to find. For them, it could be the gratification of finding food, or perhaps a sexual partner…. And you? Why are you running through those seemingly endless corridors or maybe even driving those never ending highways with your music blasting away any possibility of thought?? Are you running around searching for something in particular?

Well, whatever you may think – you have been totally conditioned too. Just like those poor rats. Maybe you’re thinking, “No way man – I’m too intelligent. I make all my own choices.” Well, you’re probably full of crap, if that’s what you think. Because today, we are learning that biology determines most of what we consider to be free choice. That much of what we may think is original, impulses, desires and so on are actually stimulated through our DNA. Do you think you’ve ever said anything original in your entire life? Hmmm; Sorry, but I seriously doubt it… I’m not being pessimistic either, just rational about old time accepted dogma that has become rooted in our thought processes as some kind of truth. But there is hope, not all is lost !

Our perceptions determine how we react to everything. That means that if you believe something is true, you will respond accordingly and usually within the perimeters of your constructed value system. Your value system is a learned ensemble of ideas and concepts that one develops throughout life. You are the total sum of all that you have learned & experienced to this day. It’s those experiences that can alter the exchange between dictating genes and your brain. Enviornmental influences are perhaps the determining factor in change. Taking the time to question what you actually think and what you actually believe is imperative to escape a value system that might not be yours, or at least not consciously; that is to say, if you’ve never taken stock of those things before. What do you actually believe? AND, what do you actually think?

Take food for example. You love to eat hamburgers, drink milk, have fried eggs with bacon for breakfast and chicken curry for dinner -there’s a great Indian restaurant down the street you discovered; maybe you even love “veal”… So those experiences are a given, something you have accepted to be truths, or at least things that you enjoy eating and have experienced. You have accepted these ideas so they are a part of who you are, part of your value system. Now suddenly someone says to you, “Do you know where hamburgers come from?” And you think, ” well yes, of course. From cows.” And that person then asks you, “Do you like animals?” And of course you do! You even have a cat or dog, or maybe a horse; maybe you even grew up on a farm!

So then you are asked to explain how you think that hamburger got onto your plate ie: the process… Hmm that’s a stickler; you know it is. You know that your hamburger is made of beef, which comes from cows, that cows are raised in pastures happily chewing on grass until the faithful day at least. It’s at this moment that your brain starts to get fuzzy, that moment where the cow or “soon-to-be-beef” image starts to elude your consciousness. Why is that? Be cause you don’t want to know that – you don’t even want to see it. And you know what? Neither do the companies that “grow” or “raise” cattle. They would like you to believe that cows actually still live out in green pastures, that they are happy, but otherwise incapable of feeling anything, that they are only “stupid animals”…That’s the same comment I always hear from people who fish, “Fish don’t feel any pain”. So for them, this saying of fish feel no pain helps them to feel alright about what they are doing. But didn’t you say you liked animals? Do you see any conflict in what you say and do?

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So what exactly are they doing? Well, cows don’t live free range out on the pastures anymore. They, like chickens, pigs and other animals that are part of an enormous enterprise called industrial farming are kept in limited spaces, no longer roam about eating healthy grasses where multiple salads are ingested, but are fed grains in a troughby a machine that passes by several time a day so that they will get fatter faster, and are usually killed at 2 years of age. They have no life of their own; they are regularly forced by artificial insemination to stay pregnant ( so you can have that nice cold glass of milk), their babies are  taken away from them only after a few weeks after birth to the immense sorry of mamma cow and baby. The babies (called veal in the groceery stores) are usually tied up in a closed space with very little room while awaiting a soon to arrive brutal death…Of course, for the other animals, it doesn’t get any better. Billions of animals suffer terribly thanks to industrialized farming practices…

Nowadays these same companies are trying to pass laws in order to keep their practices private. That anyone who films or documents the true goings on by these companies be arrested, fined and jailed. They believe that they have the right to do what they are doing and that “it” is “right”. Their belief system. Is it yours?

Still want that hamburger?

The Inner DIALOGUE: Are You Constantly Talking to Yourself? by Matthew Carlson

I should've won!

The Inner Dialogue by Matthew Carlson

THE INNER DIALOGUE (an excerpt from an ebook in progress)
by matt carlson
You are on the tennis court. You are playing a tennis match. Your adversary beats you almost every time (except when he is suffering from a minor illness, you can sometimes eek out a set). This time, you suddenly and surprising have the advantage
with a 15/40 on his serve and you are leading 6 games to 5! It’s never happened before during his periods of being healthy.
Without even thinking about it, your backhand down-the-line has dropped in! You now go and pick up a ball and toss it to your
adversary and during that time, a voice is talking to you.
It says, ” Wow, I can’t believe my luck ! For once my backhand went in at the right time! I’m gonna hit a great big forehand to
close out this set! It’s gonna be devastating!” You tell yourself with a self congratulating air on how it will be afterwards.
Already, you are seeing the photographers fighting to take your picture; this is your moment of glory!
You move into position and stand to receive serve. Your partner begins his windup. It’s a slow, unexpected puffy like sphere
rolling in the air like a cloud, seemingly to take forever to arrive in your service box. Apparently, your opponent wants to play it
safe. Not you though, you’re gonna pound on that ball and show him how good you really are! To make up for all those many
humiliating lost matches! It’s time! You jump at 200 miles per hour on that poor, slowly rotating fluorescent green ball while
slamming it with all your might, using that brand new powerful racquet you just bought (guaranteed for hair splitting return of
serves!) Unfortunately, however, your velocity is too rapid and you completely miss the ball….It sadly rolls into the back fence;
it is alone and unmoving. A lost ball, an unmoving one; a once again lost opportunity….
Suddenly, an irate voice in your head is
now screaming, « What an idiot! How can anybody miss that kind of ball?! Even a 2 year old could’ve made it back into the
court!” You try not to show how upset you are, but your breathing is suddenly short & fast, your face too has become a red
tomato…
The controlling voice intercedes once again saying « It’s okay you still have a another set point – forget about that horrible
forehand – let’s hit a backhand this time – you hit a great backhand just a minute ago ». Your breathing is still very fast and you
can no longer feel your legs either. But you are trying to be positive so you move again into position, hoping it’ll work out for you.
Then while expecting your opponent to accelerate that dinky serve of earlier, you are wrong again. He serves you yet another
dinky serve and ‘oh-happy-days’ it’s to your backhand, as you had hoped! You jump into action immediately, but the controlling
voice is there too, saying « Drop shot! Drop shot!” and you think yes, (though you never worked on it before), there’s a big
ignored hole right next to the net! » However, at the moment when you decide to hit your drop shot, your racquet slips a little bit
in your hand about half an inch in the wrong direction. You attempt to make your drop shot anyway with this new grip (one
you’ve never used before, but you have committed yourself) all the while thoughts at terrific speeds are giving you a lot of
information: « Softly, softly! Hit up on the ball: hit up, hit up…HIT UP YOU IDIOT!!! »
The ball lands at the bottom of the net…
At first you don’t realize it, but the head voice of earlier is now screaming out loud and you have thrown your brand new racquet onto
the ground. Your adversary is quite pleased. Needless to say, the first set has been lost in a tie-breaker and the second set was
a mere formality; you have lost it 6-0. You were a phantom after losing the first set, feeling as if you were somehow disconnected
to your body and its sensations. You wonder if it is worth it to continue playing tennis at all…
You were right about one thing: you were completely cut off from your body and henceforth, your ability to play tennis well…

Your INTENTIONS by Matthew Carlson

Intentions.

That word.

So easy to say and yet somehow easily put aside.

But that word or more precisely, the meaning of it is incredibly strong. Intentions…IN…10..tions.  (And again!) INTENTIONS….Just let it roll off your tongue for a an instant and reflect on what that means. You could even close your eyes too: hearing it, imagining it and wondering what yours’ might be. Intentions. Your intentions. Maybe the most important word in your vocabulary. If not, perhaps it should be.

Often in our lives these days, there is a lack of clear intentions. Not knowing what you want, running after the almighty dollar (or euro) so you can buy “stuff”, follow outside agendas (other peoples’, not yours’) and very quickly one can run out of steam. Perhaps so locked up in your daily functioning that you forget about who you are and why you are doing things. Life is not about making money. Making money is about making money. A commodity that can easily kill you (fast or slow) depending on the poison you have chosen…Are you trying to impress someone, or maybe following someone else’s idea’s, religion, goals or aspirations? Wanting someone to like or love you? Trying to get  something from someone? If you are, just step off that crazy bandwagon ride and get a hold of yourself! Consider YOU, what desire is there in your head/brain, heart or soul? However you might define those things…

What is it that your inner self is trying so hard to communicate to you? The term communication means to bring all elements together with equal knowledge and/or awareness to the same place (and to all parties concerned) only then can one truly have access to communication. To bring together a “commonness”… That still doesn’t mean that true communcation will take place. If everyone is not aware of what the information is, there cannot be true communication. It will only be parts of information shared eventually, but not thouroughly. There won’t be any “commonness”.

(I know, I just made up a new word!)

Are you aware that billions of cells in your body make you ‘you’ constantly communicate? Well they do. Or rather, they try to. There needs to be reception of the phone call, right? I mean if someone calls you on your cell phone and you don’t answer, well you won’t get the message. Unless you check your messages (ha, ha!) And hopefully one was left! And no, just saying something in your head voice is not communication either. It’s not because you thought it that your thought was sent out to anyone. No sending, no recieving.

The same can be said for EMAILS. Many people think or say, “Yea I sent an email” Which someone means “It is no longer my responsability because I sent an email with my information”….BUT the problem is this: does the person have a computer? Will the person turn it on? Will the person OPEN his email box? Will he see your email AND will he open AND read it?? That’s alot of if’s! Sendina an email or even leaving a message is not communication, it is only a smalll part of which could BECOME communcation.

(By the way, it sooo makes me laugh when people say they work in communcation and don’t know these simple facts, so don’t feel bad about it if it’s your case. Live and learn every day, right?

So, how do you listen to your inner voice?  How do you know your body is even talking to you? Does it speak Spanish? French? English? Well, a hint: it doesn’t speak verbal language.

That’s the key.

Your body communicates with you by sensations: through feelings, through pain and pleasure, hunger and thirst, images, desires, dreams, thoughts that just seem to appear for no reason…

Being in touch with ones’ body and being present in the moment is essential in order to “hear” (or the reception there of) those messages. One of the best ways I’ve found to get into touch with myself is to sit or lay down somewhere, close my eyes and take some long deep breaths. Just concentrating on that act of doing nothing but breathing.

Little by little, I will focus on my physical awareness starting with a part of me like: the position in my chair, my feet, my back against the chair, my neck and shoulders…the position of my hands and so on. All the while focusing on breathing, deep down, feeling the air expand my lungs, then letting it out again. Really, fully feeling those sensations. Any thoughts that might come up, I will block their presence with a renewed focus on breathing, on my sitting there, the whereabouts of my body and its’ position…just emptying my head of all thoughts…

Try it out and let me know what you think.

Can’t hurt!