Category Archives: emotional health

The In-Between Spaces by Matt Carlson

Was it just a thought? A sound? Was your voice somehow reaching out to me? An image and then images…I didn’t know, and I didn’t really want to consider anything. I was tired. Tired of waking up every morning with puzzle pieces of my past life showering down upon me. Whether it was real or not, I felt like my brain was a magnet of everything and or anything that just showed up at my brain’s door steps.

And then somehow the day got going and I did what I needed to do. Work was done on automatic – but I was efficient; then grocery shopping, daily errands, took the dogs out on their walks…One activity after another, but I didn’t feel like me while doing it. Who was running the show? Was it me? My DNA? Was it society: of which I was a never ending cog in the wheel of something much bigger than myself? I didn’t know. I only knew that I needed some piece of mind, some feeling that I was actually determining something in my existence. Not just being pushed along  the unending chain of: school, work, love, marry, kids, retirement…then the ‘D’ word.

Part of the problem was that life seemed to happen and I’d jumped on the bandwagon without much consideration. Kind of like you’re waiting for the bus on a street corner in a no where city and a bus does come along. You’re not sure if you should take it, but the driver tells you (and the other passengers nod their affirming heads) that the next bus will be several hours from now. Well, of course you get on the bus, right? I mean, who wants to sit around for hours waiting for another bus?…

“What’s that? This bus is going where?”…”To No Where City? And the next bus?….To Create your life Zone and Maybe Be Happy Too?” Hell, I should have waited for that next bus…..

Now what? Well, those images, those sounds, those puzzle pieces I mentioned earlier, were maybe important ones. Maybe my brain was trying to tell me something. Maybe, I needed to listen to my own mind instead of being that ‘cog in a wheel’. Maybe, I could try to hear what my inner self was trying to tell me. Perhaps I had a message to myself that was more important than the constant barrage of messages coming from my computer. The first step? Turn off the phone! Turn off the computer! Meditate…. Breath… Oh yea, I was always forgetting to do that too. Breath…Yea, it was March, it felt like just ‘Another Summer Day’…


Some Helpful Thoughts In Life Management by Matt Carlson

Some things that are helpful to remember in life:
1. Have a sincere intention when you do something and be clear about what that is to others.
2. Don’t play into others’ unhealthy game playing, lying or manipulation. Tell that or those people “no” and go on with your life.
3. Don’t judge, but learn to observe things. When you judge something, it cannot become something else, only what you’ve judged it to be.
4. Communicate as best you can & as often as you can. Communication is a bringing together of ideas so that everyone is on board with all of the same elements. If you do not do this, then you are not communicating, only occasionally giving out bits and pieces of a thing.
5. Give of yourself to others. Giving is generosity of oneself. Everyone has unique gifts to give to others. Give freely and often without second thoughts. Without wanting something in return.
6. Take time every day and as often as you can to just be in the moment, to be with who ever you are with or whatever you are doing. Don’t get so caught up in your daily lives, that you forget what is essential: this moment. The past and future do not exist ; the past and future only exist in your mind

Birdsong and Change by Matt Carlson

Can trees be so high? Leaves that green? Bird song so sweet? And dogs love too, so unfailing?.. And what about me? What about this body? It seems too so very consistent: in its needs of food, of sleep, of worrying and such. But I know that if I have the misfortune to see all of it in a mirror, that saggy face, those lines, the missing hair and muscles flask, that all is an illusion. This envelope belongs to another – not the frozen twenty five year old image in my head…none matters, thoughts of yesterday’s are gone, traces only remain… I am no longer the same, never was. We are never the same at any moment. One thing happens and you change and then another and another until so many pieces outside become the new you inside. One has no choice. It just happens… And there is no sadness, no joy of it. Joy has to be considered, maybe even chosen upon, like being unhappy. Perhaps we choose that, those emotions. If you’ve never experienced being happy, I’d imagine it would be hard to imagine happiness. I’m not completely sure of it anymore, myself…..
Was I truly happy once upon a time? Will I be one day? Is that a DNA thing that we simply reproduce because it’s there in our genes? Possibly…I still want to believe that we have some choice in the matter. I still would like to choose happiness, if I can.

Aahh, birdsong. Nothing better, that and the sound of the ocean…



Quiet Your Emotional Turbulence by Matt Carlson

Quiet Your Emotional Turbulence by Matt Carlson

‘How to quiet the emotional turbulence when your needs are not being met. Discover a seven step process that helps you to accept your feelings without judgement and can provide an opportunity for inner growth & self refection.


Step One: Take responsibility for your emotions – for what you are feeling. When you find yourself reacting emotionally to other people, it is usually because they are reflecting some kind of emotion that you have not fully acknowledged that within your own nature. When you accept responsibility for your own emotions, & cease to be a bundle of conditioned reflexes, you will no longer be vulnerable to the opinions of everyone you encounter. So take responsibility.


Step Two: Identify what the emotion is. “I feel…” How do you feel? You may be angry, sad, hurt, disappointed, helpless etc. As clearly as possible, try to identify the emotion or emotions that you are feeling. What is the emotion that you are feeling?


Step Three: Witness the feeling in your body. Emotions are thoughts associated with physical sensations. Our thoughts trigger bodily reactions releasing chemicals that have a life of their own. The physiological expression of stress cannot be instantaneously shut off; rather the energy of the emotion must be dissipated before the emotion can be processed further. Just observe the feeling. Allow your attention to embrace the sensation in your body. By simply experiencing the physical sensations, some of the emotional charge will dissipate and this will allow you to hear the message of the emotion. Witness the feeling – in your body.


Step Four: Express the emotion in private, to yourself. You can write about your feelings or speak them out loud. Keep a journal just for this purpose. Allow similar memories to come to the surface and write about them too. Use language that accurately conveys what you are experiencing. Allow yourself to express all that you need to about the situation. Remember, express the emotion in private to yourself.

Step Five: Release the emotion through a ritual. As you know, we create and reinforce behaviours by creating rituals. Physical activity or movement is usually best for this. So go for a walk, bat a pillow, dance freely, listen to loud music, or rapid breathing…anything that will allow you to discharge the emotion or emotions from your physiology. Allow your body to detoxify…Acknowledge the release of the emotion as you are doing the activity, whatever it is. It’s very important to release the emotion through some ritual.

Step Seven: Share the emotion with someone who can listen empathetically to you, without trying to solve your problem. Once again: share the emotion with someone who can listen empathetically to you without trying to solve your problem. Conscious listening is a skill that takes a lot of practise. You can use an inanimate object to work on this: talk to an inanimate stone or a feather or even a stick to remind yourself to speak openly and honestly. When you feel complete with your communication pass the object to another person and allow him or her to express their emotions, again without trying to solve the problem. In step seven, do something to rejuvenate yourself : get a massage, listen to music, buy yourself a present, eat a delicious meal, nourish yourself. It takes conscious awareness and a commitment to personal growth to go through the process that I’ve just described.

So reward yourself for your good work.’

Thanks to the Chopra Well Being Center in Carlsbad, CA